An Addition, Not an Invention


I made a thing.  What looks like a bandana wrapped around a dog clip with a snap installed, is in fact just that.  That’s it.  Took five minutes, tops.  What it’s composed of is not the cool part, however, as its purpose is what I made it for.  You know how golfers carry those little towels with their initials embroidered into them?  Like that, but so much cooler.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life in the middle of mosh pits.  I prefer my music loud, hard, fast, and angry.  People need to dance, and a large circle pit is sometimes the only way for the masses to keep with the beat.  I’ve got quite the stack of ticket stubs, guitar picks, drum sticks, backstage passes, a Metallica beach ball, an Alice Cooper Billion Dollar Bill, and even a My Darkest Days “Casual Sex” condom.  Although not a career path I’d choose, roadies are some of the best dressed people I’ve ever met.  It takes an artist to perfect a hairstyle and wardrobe that looks just as good slept in for a week as it does fresh.  I don’t want to say I’ve nailed it quite yet, but I’m close…


I’ve noticed at a lot of metal shows, the roadies wear bandanas through their belt loops.  Some were just threaded through, while others had a grommet and a clip attached to the end.  They would wipe fingerprints off with them, clean their hands on them, wipe sweat off their faces, and even soak up spilled beer.  Talk about versatile!  The best part is, when it’s filthy, just leave it clipped on, and throw your jeans in the wash.  A mixture of blood, snot, and cocaine from an accidental backstage nosebleed?   Bring out the bandana!  Vomit containing mostly pills and whiskey?  Get a bandana in there, stat!  A semen-covered groupie?  A bandana, a shower, and the recommendation of a blood test!  It’s like a K-Tel miracle product, folks!

What does this have to do with hotrodding?  How about everything!  Old cars are always dirty, and in constant need of attention.  Engine oil, ATF, gear oil, power steering fluid, brake fluid, grease, mud, bug guts, etc.  All of that can now be wiped on the roadie rag instead of your pant leg or sock!  How about after dark, when you’re drowning your sorrows, or celebrating a day well spent?  Again, literally any human fluid can quickly be mopped up with the roadie rag.  Next time you see me, I’ll be wearing it, and my hands will be clean.  I wouldn’t say the same for the modified bandana, though…


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